– From Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida, this is Poker Night in America. (upbeat theme music) Welcome to Poker Night in America. Day two begins here at Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida. I’m Chris Hanson with Joe Stapleton. – Coming up on today’s show, Phil Hellmuth captains the table like Stubing on The Love Boat. – Woo-hoo!

I don’t have to be the bad guy. – He also talks about charity for the better part of an hour which is weird, because I didn’t know he also knew her. Hey, Charity. – [Chris] Day two buy-ins go from 5,000 for Phil Hellmuth to 25,000 for Phil Laak.

– [Joe] (laughs) Blake Bone. – [Chris] Actually it’s Bohn, like Autobahn. – [Joe] I prefer to call it the Autobone. – [Chris] (laughs) I’m sure you would. Let’s get to the poker from Seminole Hard Rock.

2,550 are the blinds. Michael Laake, not to be confused with Phil Laak immediately to his right, raises with sevens. That’s Alec Laak, (chuckles) to his left, and this is Josh Laake. And we’ll finish things up here with Asher Locke. (chuckles) – [Joe] Asher Conniff won the WPT championship and the two guys to his right were both November Niners.

I won’t spoil it for you which one of these two November Niners wins it. It’s Joe. Shoot. – [Phil] Tell Torelli just.. 200 dead from the big blind, that way– – [Joe] This is looking like an action table. – That’s we did the other two switches.

– What are you saying? You’re ante-ing every hand now, from day one. – [Phil] No, just one person, the big blind. – [Chris] Three players to this flop, 2,600 in the middle. – They switched it because they found– – [Joe] Now everybody’s got a pair. – I don’t know, did I switch it to the wrong way?

It was one of the two and they said– – [Hellmuth] You switched it to the wrong way, yeah. It’d be a shocker, Phil, you’d switch something. You’d get something in your complex mind. (chuckles) You have so many details, like layers of details. – [Phil] I may have gotten it wrong. One of them’s more efficient.

and I remember solving it and then forgetting the answers, so I just went on a hunch. – [Hellmuth] The button’s more efficient is what we decided. – Okay. Honestly it was just guesswork. – We can switch it. Like there’s got to be a way to switch it to the button at some point, right?

– We could just do the orbit and un-switch it. – Yeah. that’s the solution right there. That’s can elegant solution.

Because, then you have the right to reserve it. To switch it back if we did a double-switch back inception move. Phil Hellmuth probably not knowing where we were. So we could choo-choo – [Chris] Beckley makes two pair on the turn. But Torelli picks up the flush draw.

– Where did Jessica Dawley go? Cause she brought up a very interesting thing, She said, show disappears for an hour. “Phil Hellmuth on every “We don’t know where he goes.”

Does he go talk to an astronomer? Does he go for a drive? Does he get a hair cut? Does he go for a run? Does he go to his room and take a nap? What is he doing?

– [Joe] He has to keep feeding his meter. – [Phil] It’s true, though. – [Joe] Refuses to pay for parking in the garage. – It used to be workouts and naps.

Now it’s discussing the flow of people talking and that kind of thing. With the producers. (chuckles) – [Joe] This show has producers, come on. – I don’t want to tilt myself and tell people to be quiet any more, so I have to discuss with the producers, “What am I suppose to do?” – [Phil] Oh right, yeah, just that. – [Hellmuth] Yeah.

– [Chris] $1,300 from Torelli. – I’m completely untilted now because people are going to talk over people. I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore. This show’s gonna pay the price. They’re gonna use less episodes.

I don’t want to say anything anymore, so I’m off the hook. [Joe] (chuckles) Woo-hoo! Thanks for letting me off the hook. I don’t have to be the bad guy.

– [Joe] This is amazing website, Phil is trying to stop people from talking over him by saying that the show might get cancelled. If they do, Look, I’m talking over you, Phil. The show’s doing just fine. – Hellmuth’s off the hook, that’s all I know.

– [Joe] I’m looking at the producers right now and not a single person is nodding their head. – [Chris] Beckley calls. Here comes the river. – [Joe] Oh, and mean while Alec has quietly gone runner, runner on Josh Beckley.

Why’d you check the turn, Josh? – [Phil] What is that? That’s all the bright checkers. – It’s like a peacock. – [McKeehen] That’s all the checkers, not just the bright ones. – [Joe] This is a really tough spot for Beckley.

Two pair is usually gonna be the best hand. This isn’t the worst board for two pair, but it’s not the best, either. Lot’s of things got there by the end, but the sick part is this is exactly what Alec would do if he were bluffing, also. Good lay down, Josh Beckley. – Sometimes you just want your own time, I guess. Button’s good.

– This is like, there’s $350 dollars I probably shouldn’t have folded. – But it was not $350 dollars, it was 350. (laughing) Three fivdee. – [Joe] Said I need about tree fit-tee. – It was tree fifty. – [Asher] Thought I was giving money away, with that one.

– [Joe] Hi, Jessica Dawley… …Hi – That’s how I felt when I folded the $175. – Listen, you’ve got enough money. You can give it away. – [Joe] Asher’s got Jacks. – Things you’ve got to think about.

– [Joe] Cold deck alert, woop woop. – She does love charity. – I do love charity. – [Joe] You know Jessica Dawley just said she loves charity. She can’t love charity that much because she has not returned any of my phone calls.

– I’d be… surprised, stunned, and proud of you if I didn’t have the best hand right there. – If you had a pair going into the river, you had the weight of us. – [Asher] What about the river? – [Jessica] Less than best. – A big raise to $1,500 from Michael Laake. – [Asher] So you’re saying, “You got there on the river.”

– I don’t know what your pair was. – Um…you’re hurting my feelings right now. – I may or may not have rivered a pair of sixes. (laughing) – You do love charity. You’ve been to at least two of my charity events.

– [Jessica] That’s right. – I did one at the Kentucky Derby. You were there.

– Yep, I was there. – And then we did one in the Hamptons. – Ooh, ooh.

– We’re living large. Ooh, ooh. – [Jessica] Can’t wait to get this.

– Derby, Hamptons, Derby was my event. – [Jessica] Yeah, it was a good one. – Private jet we rode home together, and the jet with four aces on the tail. – [Asher] Aces on the tail? – Lost a hundred bucks. – Four aces on the tail.

[Chris] Conniff got rid of his jacks. – [Hellmuth] It was a badass jet. Now it’s up to Blake Bohn. – [Joe] Four bet coming. Boom. – [Asher] You bluff me?

That’s a re-raise, then. – I was bluffing. – [Phil] Right, that’s more than $1500.

Two three. – [Jessica] I thought you would call. – [Phil] I’ve never folded in this hand. – [Joe] Unfortunately I think this is gonna get two folds. The only problem with fast-playing erases.

– [Hellmuth] You never folded that hand? I’ll take the over. – [Joe] Is that sometimes they fold. – One, two, three. – [Joe] Or you can slow play him if Phil Laak can run you down like that girl from House of Cards. – That’s the first time I folded with that hand.

– [Joe] Ah, nice try, Laak-ay – Don’t you worry. – Coming up, we learn more than we ever cared to about Jessica Dawley’s diet. – [Phil] Is that apple sauce?

– This is carrots. – [Chris] For more from Poker Night, visit pokernight.com or find us on Twitch, Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube where you can see complete episodes and unedited livestreams. (up-tempo music) – [Hellmuth] Jessica, Jennifer Tilly wasn’t with us at the Derby that year, was she? – No, it was Robert Williamson. – She comes to the Derby without her… …boyfriend. – Yep.

he, I hear isn’t a big fan of the Derby. (all laughing) I’m not exactly sure. – [Asher] That’s just what you heard, though. What about you, do you like– – [Josh] Heard it through a friend.

– [Chris] Laake with queen 10, makes it $250. – [Phil] It’s a lot to travel. I’m not a horse guy, I don’t know. – [Joe] You know, I’m not attracted to horses that much either. – [Hellmuth] It’s about all the pageantry.

That’s how we love it. It’s also nice to be on all the VIP lists. – [Asher] Jessica, you want one of those crazy hats?

– [Jessica] Yeah. – [Hellmuth] We got one of those limos. We get one of those stretch limos we own 24/7. Stock it with Dom Perignon and cigars. – Sounds like a good time.

– No, it really is a lot of fun. – They’ve have a golf course where they had to Ryder Cup. We just didn’t feel like- I feel like we own the city when we’re down there. – It really is a lot of fun.

Just all the shenanigans outside of the actual Derby. The race is like two minutes long. (indistinct talking) – [Asher] Nobody cares about the race.

– The actual race, no. – [Dealer] Call. – [Joe] You know they should treat poker players like they treat race horses. If your leg falls asleep, they shoot you in the face.

– [Chris] ♪ You see me rollin’ – [Jessica] In my gateway. You are saying, like, whatever. – Last time I was at Parks I actually bet on a horse for the first time in my life.

– [McKeehen] Did you win? – No. – [Joe] Beckley ahead with a pair, up and down draw for Laake. – [Phil] Is that apple sauce? – This is carrots.

– [Joe] Just what is Jessica Dawley eating? I knew she was cool, but I didn’t know she was RoboCop. – [Chris] Whoa, is that baby food? – My stomach is actually growling. – [Joe] I don’t think you’re allowed to call her baby.

– I don’t eat baby food on a regular basis, but when I’m on the go, it’s a good substitute. Keeps my mind fed and fueled up and I still get my vegetables and my fruit and everything, and I can eat it whilst I’m sitting at poker table versus like, stuffing my face with chicken or something, right? – [Asher] By the way Jessica, I put my phone on that charger for an hour and no lie, it went from one to two percent.

(all laughing) We’re trying a new outlet. I don’t know what it is. – It’s a sick level.

– [Chris] Check, check on the turn. – It could be the cord, but actually it might be the base. I think the base– – [Joe] Bohn rivers a six. Does Laake have the know how and the elbow grease to bluff with queen high? He does.

Tough call to make with a pair of sixes. He’s only beating bluffs and there aren’t that many, I don’t think. – Phil, oh, my back’s a little sore and I can spell profit with these chips, so maybe I’ll call it a night. (Laughter) – Phil, that saying’s meant for the guys that are up like 10 or 15 thousand. Oh, my girlfriend called, I got to go. (indistinct talking) – That’s always a classic.

No, I gotta pick up my wife from work. Where does she work at three in the morning? (laughs) What? – [Dealer] Raise.

– [Joe] I always forget about that option. – [McKeehen] (bleep) just got real – [Joe] Okay, Mike. make it look good and then fold. – [Chris] Move the chips around. Look at the cards one more time. Oh, there we go.

– [Joe] Nah, I give it like a four out of 10. – We played hard. – Showing eight of diamonds.

– That’s what I had. Oh, I really wanted to move in. – You had the best hand.

Yeah, it was definitely the best hand. – That’s how Blake Bohn manages to defend Sparta with only 299 other guys. – [Jessica] He is winning though, so. – That’s true, that would help. – [Jessica] Yeah, if he was losing, I could really get into it, so. -and Alec just sitting here playing two hands an orbit.

Is that a limp, or? – [Joe] I feel like Beckley’s limping here, so he can’t get three bet. – [McKeehen] It’s 50.

It’s a call, not a limp. – And he can probably see a cheaper flop. (indistinct talking) – [Chris] Well, Jessica raises it up to $250, with queen jack.

I don’t know. It would’ve been close. I think if I was Jessica Dawley, I’d have the baby food finished before I got to the table. That’s just me. – [Joe] Yeah, but you have to eat four bites of food every four minutes on her diet.

[Chris] (laughing) – Everyone criticizes when you play tight. (indistinct talking) I didn’t expect a call there. [Josh] That’s why you win. No. (laughs) – Yeah, I should have raised. – [Jessica] I thought it was gonna be a limp fold.

– [Joe] Beckley does get a semi-cheap flop. Pretty good flop for Josh Beckley. Just kidding. His drawing dead to a chop or boating up.

[Dealer] Bet. – It’s 30/50. – [Jessica] I feel I could always ask him what I’m betting. – I can’t see the chips.

– No, no, it’s fine. [Dealer] Heads up. – Then I pull the trigger. – [Joe] There go the choppertunities.

Beckley’s gonna need to hit a king or a 10. Jessica gets the bet again with the flop nuts. (indistinct talking) [Dealer] Bet.

How much is that? -825 I think Josh has go not choice but to call. He might raise considering how wet this board is.

It’s pretty hard to put your opponent on a flop straight. – Six in your face. (laughing) This guy. – [Joe] Just a call.

She wants him hanging around as long as a king or a 10 doesn’t hit. (indistinct talking) Oh, no, like an Amazon Prime package, he gets there. (indistinct talking) No…ah, sorry. Not as a needle -No, I know If you had lost like 10-20K in that. So Jessica Dawley’s gonna lose at least $1200 more dollars in this hand.

Raise incoming. And he’s repping only boats and bluffs with this raise. – Interesting. – And Jessica noticed his limp call before the flop. He would have been doing that with a lot of hands that are full houses now, sometimes the same hand as hers nine 10, king 10, queen, jack. All makes sense.

Jessica does call. (Bleep) She ain’t gonna like it. – How do you run that good?

obviously I love nuts. I almost folded, but. What is it, 30/30/75? – [Asher] Yeah, he’s in the November Niners.

– I know. Let’s not forget this. I was gonna fold the river, but. I couldn’t put him on a big hand because he limped pre-flop, so when he checked me on the river I thought really, he has like nine 10 or king 10. Up until that point, I played the hand 100% correct, in my opinion.

I was just pretty dejected and pretty upset with myself for making that call on the river, but we move on from it and try to learn from it. Nice hand. – [Josh] Thanks. – Phil, I want to pre-shake hands because I’m leaving if I lose this pot. I want to pre-shake your hand.

– Phil, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first? (all laughing) (bombastic music) – [Chris] Poker Night in America, back at Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida. Just to update you, blinds here are 25 and 50 in this no-limit cash game. We’re also playing with a $200 ante on the button. – [Joe] Look at this.

Bohn three-betting with ten four suited. – [Joe] I really was hoping this guy’s name was pronounced “bone”, so I could say welcome to the “bone zone”. – [Chris] Sorry.

It just doesn’t work that way. – [Joe] If you defeat bone, you can take his place in the bone throne. – [Chris] It’s Bohn. – [Joe] The Bohn thron? – [Chris] No, that doesn’t work.

– [Joe] Okay. – [Jessica] How we looking? – Like, ah… – [Joe] You’re kind of supposed to continue there, once you hit a pair, but maybe just switch to cheap showdown mode? Seems reasonable. Check’s around. – [Chris] King on the turn.

– [Joe] A really bad card for Bohn Diddly over there. Yeah, it doesn’t work, either. – [Chris] Nope. I would entertain a Bond. Blake Bond. – [Joe] Shaken, not stirried.

And Conniff and Bohn both river trips. – [Chris] I wanna see some action. Come on, guys! – [Joe] I think there’s gonna be action. We got two guys with trips and a guy with a worse hand that is leading into both of them. I think both guys with tens are gonna have to just call.

If you raise, it’s very difficult to get called by a worse hand. -I think “Tilt-orelli” is up a barrier, so… Conniff giving this some serious thought. By the way, did you know Asher’s uncle was one of the writers for Mystery Science Theatre 3000? 100% true. Big time inspiration for me. Watch out for snakes!

[Phil] It’s a lot easier to win. When at least somebody’s not even interested in– – [Joe] Holy! That is a very disciplined fold, like, wrong, but super disciplined. – [Asher] Oh, I’m the worst. – [Joe] Did not expect that kind of discipline from the ugly truth over there, it’s another Gerard Butler reference. Just to calm down, but Bohn calls with the worst hand, then Conniff folded and wins the whole pot.

– I finally crossed over. I was stuck the whole day. Now I’m up, like, 800 bucks. It’s nice. – Don’t spend it all in one place. – Oh, isn’t that the new term of, like, upstuck?

– No. Now, I’m up. He was up 600.

– If you get back to even, then you’re up to, like, 800. Yeah, you gotta write that in your journal. – If you’re, you know, up six, and then you lose two, your upstuck’s two, you know? Upstuck’s four.

You take the amount and you’ve lost, ’cause you’re trying deliver no information and then you’re stuck but you’re up, and you know, so you don’t even know the loss number, right? Right? Doesn’t that make more– (all speaking over each other) Well, I thought about it, and I was like, well, yeah, if your upstuck, you might as well just communicate nothing. The upstuck’s, well, how much upstuck? 2,200?

That just means you’re down 2,200 from what you began to communicate anyways. – [Joe] This upstuck thing is pure genius. – I hate the upstuck. I hate it.

I would rather just be stuck up than upstuck. – [Joe] There needed to be a name for that, and now there is. – [Phil] Is that a raise? – I’d rather be upstuck, I think. – [Asher] What does that in terms of– – That you’re up at one point, but you’re not up your peak. Oh So you’re still up, but you’re not– – [Asher] Wherever you’re at from your peak.

– [Chris] Is it just me, or do poker players make up more terms than any other genre of people? – [Joe] I’m only in one genre of people, so I don’t know. – [Chris They make up more than, like, fraternity brothers.

I swear. – [Joe] I’ve coined a few. – [Chris] Lay some on me. – [Joe] Congratudolences. It’s when you have a friend who finishes in, like, third or fourth place.

– [Chris] Got it. – [Joe] All it takes is a chip and a chair. That’s the one I came up with in 2009. – [Chris] I think that was somebody else.

– [Joe] I… …beg to differ. Asher Conniff made another big fold with a strong hand. Nitty ditty bang bang. – You’re eatin’ all the health food there, Ash. How’s your prep for the November 9 going?

Can you stay strong? – [Phil] Pretzels and beer, it’s good. He’s gotten there. – Would you say it’s strong to quite strong? – Look at this, how people like to put in the purple chips. When I finally played, I get my best hand in a long time.

Let me share it with you and fold. This is like, I was finally ready to do something, right? You got a little piece of it, and then it just melts away.

It’s like… one of those melty moments. – [Jessica] Hit a queen three again? (laughs) – [Chris] So Blake Bohn makes it 3,000, and now it’s back to Torelli. We haven’t seen Torelli do a lot of losing on Poker Night in America. [Asher] You want any?

– [Joe] ‘Cause he just knows what the H is up. No. He is keeping it one hundred. – That’s much more than the baby food. – [Joe] Look at this. – Oh, yeah.

I’ll mush ’em. Yeah – Yeah, you mushed him up, put them in a grinder. – Add some, like, apricots or something.

Now we’re getting it. (mumbling) – [McKeehen] Organically salted. [laughter] – [Asher] I could wrap ’em in bacon or something – Why did you offer that to her and not the rest of us, you (bleep)? – She’s a girl.

– Oh, okay. – [Josh] So why didn’t you offer Joe any? – Ouch.

Wow, Josh just cracked his first joke in three years. – [Jessica] Oh, we missed it. – We basically said that Joe has a vagina. (laughs) – [Jessica] I like it. Good joke.

– [Joe] Bohn’s got the advantage of being the aggressor here and he’s in position but I still like Alec. – It’s irrelevant, he’s getting seventh and I’m getting first, so. – Josh is like, “Good luck, idiot.”

He can smoke you. – I like my spot more than I like your spot. – [Chris] Torelli calls, so now it’s 16,000, in the middle. Here comes the turn. – [Joe] Okay, maybe now I like Bohn.

– [Chris] Check to Bohn again. I’m not sure a bet would get Alec to fold much better than a seven, so I think Bohn might slow down a little bit. – Yeah, that really counted. That’s where I wanted it.

– [Chris] Show me a river, please. – That was not what I was thinking. – [Jessica] No? – Mm-mm. – [Joe] So a pair of sevens, good. I have no idea what Alec’s gonna do here, by the way, but I know whatever it is, it’s correct – [Chris] Whatever he’s doing is what you should do?

– [Joe] Absolutely. – 10,500. – Phil is right now online looking up strategy. -[Chris] Wow. Torelli Banging this river. – [Joe] And now that he’s done it, I can tell you this is correct, because he’s correctly identified that his hand is no good at showdown, and that Bohn has got something marginal he can fold, but that would probably beat ace queen when they table their hands.

– I feel like I have the best hand. I still feel like I’m gonna throw it away. – [Joe] It’s an absolutely massive bet on a board where it’s hard to be huge. – I mean, I got a pair, and I hate folding pairs, it’s like… …folding socks – [Joe] Folding pairs, folding socks. What’s this guy talking about laundry so much for? – [Chris] Alec Torelli is on a whole different poker level than 98% of the players on this planet.

– I really felt like I read the situation right. I had a plan in trapping him the whole time, I thought he was really weak pre-flop, and on the river, I felt like he actually made a pair when I felt like I could represent a hand like aces, kings, or queens by betting, and I just thought that he would fold with a big bet, and so I just put him in a tough spot, and it worked out for me. – [Bohn] Nice hand.

– Thanks. – We get it, Alec! You’re good at poker! Ugh. – When we come back, Phil Laak uses words.

– I’m the one surfing my subconsciousness and consciousness and the whole mess that’s happening. – [Chris] Closed captioning is brought to you as a public service by Poker Night in America. (bombastic music) Here is where we’re at for day two here at Seminole Hard Rock. Blake Bohn making the most of his first trip to Poker Night in America, up over 12k. – Not a lot of winners on that list, but you know who is a winner?

You, the people at home. (laughs) Drive safe, everybody. – No. Stapes.

Where you going? Where you going, dude? We still got the Phil Laak supercut. – All right, I’ll stay for that.

– I don’t think you can zoom-out. There, you see? Check here. King high. King what? Show… and he…It was like, right there.

It was the same time. (Music) If you’re water, and it’s the, you know, 10,000 years before Christ, and you’re a water molecule in the grand canyon, you’re not thinking, “Hey, “Oh, I’m gonna etch away this rock,” you know? You’re just hanging out, living. It’s like when the Romulans and the… and the uh… the humans make a… deal about, In my paradigm, I’m wearing goggles. I can’t see hardly at all, right? But it’s fun to wear goggles when you play poker, so who cares if you can see or not?

It’s like Douglas Adams used to wear, one of his characters wore the Joe Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, and all they were were sunglasses that turned instantly black at the hint of any danger. That way, if you’re about to crash into a planet, at least you don’t feel the fear of it, you know? So that’s half the goggle love right there. So when the Romulans broke the intent of the treaty for the peace zone, and it was for Captain Picard, or whoever, Maybe this other guy Kirk that had to make the decision, well, they didn’t break the rule, but they broke the spirit of the thing. That could have been theory been generated in that half to a nether second.

Maybe micro, Twilight Zone, dwarf-shifted it by half a second. The time compressions Uh… aspect of it was just a (hissing noise) ‘Cause I’m the one surfing my subconsciousness and consciousness, the whole mess that’s happening. That’s robbing your consciousness of, you know, precious mind units, whatever, for dancing here, so I just try not to get involved in the side stuff so I can focus on… you know, whew!

-Take a breath. Yeah, get into it. (laughs) (chips clattering) – You ever get done listening to somebody talk and you have no idea what they just said? – Tuesday.